


Midnight Solace

by Bellakitse



Series: 30 days of Tarlos [22]
Category: 9-1-1: Lone Star (TV 2020)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Caring Carlos Reyes, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Insomnia, M/M, Panic Attacks, TK Strand Needs A Hug, mentions of drug abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-23
Updated: 2020-06-23
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:48:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,310
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24869398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bellakitse/pseuds/Bellakitse
Summary: When not being able to sleep triggers a panic attack, Carlos is there to help TK through it.
Relationships: Carlos Reyes/TK Strand
Series: 30 days of Tarlos [22]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1769356
Comments: 22
Kudos: 353





	Midnight Solace

**Author's Note:**

> 30 days of Tarlos - Day 22

Carlos knows TK is awake; he feels him shift on his side of the bed. He does it slowly and as gently as possible, but he can still feel him moving. He hasn’t said anything for the last half hour, hoping that by some chance, his boyfriend will fall back to sleep naturally. His heart aches for him when he hears a soft sigh of frustration and knows he can’t stay quiet any longer.

“Baby,” he says softly, and yet it still sounds loud in the quiet room. He feels TK freeze next to him. “I know you’re awake, Ty.”

TK doesn’t say anything for a moment; the only sound in the room is their breathing. “Sorry,” he says finally in a whisper, and Carlos finds himself frowning at the tone in his voice.

He turns over, reaching to turn the lamp on the bedside table, squinting as the room is flooded with light. When he turns back to TK, he finds those green eyes he loves so much looking at him with embarrassment.

“Why are you sorry, baby?” Carlos asks gently. He rests on his side to face TK, worry building when he sees how tight he shuts his eyes for a second, his whole body radiating with tension. When he opens his eyes again, Carlos can see they’re shining with frustrated tears.

“I woke you up,” TK gets out, huffing angrily when a tear rolls down his face.

“That’s okay, TK,” Carlos assures him, but TK is already shaking his head as he sits up on the bed.

“No, it’s not,” he gets out. “I can’t sleep because my stupid brain can’t seem to shut up, and I woke you up, that’s not fair. I should just go back to my dad’s tonight and let you rest.”

“Hey, hey, hey,” Carlos says quickly, he sits up and moves behind TK when it looks like he’s going to get up from the bed.

Carlos cradles TK between his legs, raising his hands to rest them on TK’s shoulders. He can feel how tight they are under his hands.

“I just want to hug you,” he speaks gently; it feels like TK is going to bolt at any second. “Can I hug you, Tyler?”

TK nods quickly as his breathing comes out fast.

Carlos wraps his arms around TK and pulls him back to his chest, his hold on his boyfriend is firm and secure without being tight. It feels like TK is on the verge of a panic attack, and the last thing he wants is for him to feel trapped.

TK tilts his head back, letting it rest on Carlos’ shoulder. He keeps breathing through his mouth, puffs of air that come out choppy.

“Count backwards in threes, baby,” he tells him as he remembers it’s one of the exercises that are supposed to help with panic attacks. He keeps his tone calm even though he feels anything but. “Can you do that for me, Ty? From a hundred?”

TK nods again. “100, 97, 94, 91,” he starts, slow and shaky. He gets to 73 before he’s not tripping over the numbers anymore, and it’s not until he’s at 58 that he can stop altogether.

Carlos lets out the breath he’s been holding when TK’s breathing becomes steady again, his body finally loosening.

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asks softly, his heart clenching when TK makes a noise and shakes his head.

“Okay, baby, that’s okay. You don’t have to,” he tells him, kissing the side of his face softly. “How about I talk, hmm?”

“Yeah – ” TK whispers with an exhale. “Please.”

“Did I tell you that I talked to my Captain about taking time off?” he starts. He takes TK’s hands and plays with his fingers as he talks. “I have a few days accumulated, and she thinks I can take them next month. I thought maybe you could put in a request, and we could get out of Austin for a few days. I want to take you to South Padre Island, a little sun, some waves, and coconut water in real coconuts.”

“You in tiny bathing shorts,” TK gets out, laughing softly. Still resting his head back on Carlos’ shoulder, he turns his head, rubbing his nose against his cheek. “You’ll look hot.”

“Actually, I was thinking you would be the one in the tiny shorts,” Carlos answers honestly. It’s one of the things he’s been thinking about nonstop since the idea first started forming in his head. “But sure. If you wear itty-bitty shorts, then I will too.”

TK laughs again, freer now. “That sounds nice,” he whispers.

“Is that a yes?” he questions, getting a soft hum back from TK.

“It’s a really pretty place, relaxing,” he continues, trying to sell the idea. “We’ll spend the day at the beach, and then make love all night.”

“I like the sound of that,” TK whispers.

He lets out a sigh before lifting his head. Carlos pulls back, moving to give TK room as he turns to face him.

“Thank you,” he says quietly. He lifts his hand, covering Carlos’ mouth when he shakes his head and goes to tell him he doesn’t need to thank him for anything. “Thank you,” he says again, firmly. “I don’t mean to be a mess, but I am sometimes.”

“Ty – “ Carlos starts to argue, stopping when TK shoots him a look.

“I am,” he says seriously. “I love that you want to tell me I’m not, but I am. I’m an addict, and while I have no desire to use again, sometimes for no reason at all, all I can think about is how easy it would be to score some pills and just check out for a while.”

TK gives him a pained look, his eyes red from tiredness and tears. “And I _hate_ that I think like that sometimes, but then it becomes a vicious cycle of thinking it and hating myself for it, and then I can’t sleep because I feel like shit.”

“Cariño – “ he barely gets out, the word stuck around the lump forming in his throat. “How can I help? Please tell me I can help you.”

TK smiles at him brightly, even as tears slide down his face.

“Oh, baby,” he breathes. He reaches out to touch his face, and it’s only when TK wipes at his cheeks that he realizes he’s crying too. “You already do. You help me every day just by being you. You hold me when I need to be held. You talk me through a panic attack, and then you patiently wait until I’m ready to tell you what’s wrong,” he says, smiling gently, and a soft laugh follows. “And now you want to take me away on a romantic getaway. You help me, Carlos, just by loving me.”

Carlos takes TK’s hands, bringing them up to his mouth. “I love you more than anything,” he says against his knuckles.

“I know,” TK tells him, smiling at him lovingly. “And I’m so grateful for that because I love you more than anything too.”

Carlos lets out a shaky breath, his heart thumping hard at TK’s words.

“Come on,” TK jerks his head towards the head of the bed. “Let’s lay back down.”

“Do you think you can sleep now?” Carlos questions as they start to rearrange themselves.

“Maybe if you hold me?” TK asks, his green eyes looking at him hopefully, it makes Carlos chuckle.

“The hardship,” he says sarcastically, laughing when TK rolls his eyes at him before laying down, his head on his chest.

Carlos wraps his arms around TK after turning off the light, enjoying the weight of him.

“Thank you,” TK says one more time.

Carlos’ heart squeezes again with overwhelming love for the man in his arms. “Anytime, baby.”

**Author's Note:**

> [tumblr](https://bellakitse.tumblr.com/)


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